Dignity and Death

There is a lot of discussion in the Schiavo case on the topic of dignity. Almost exclusively the discussion centers around the incapacitated person. Should she be allowed to "die with dignity"? Is it cruel to have her linger in this "undignified" condition? The right-to-die movement is all about death with dignity.

Valid questions, worthy of discussion.

And as my contribution to the discussion, I'm going to approach it from a different direction and suggest that the question of dignity applies to more than just the person dying and involves the care-givers as well.

Now that I'm in my forties, I've had the opportunity to watch family members care for dying loved ones. That includes in-laws who cared for a dying parent. That includes an uncle who cared for years for a disabled and dying spouse. And that includes my father (and an older brother) who cared for my mother as ended a four year battle with a ravaging battle. She passed away, delerious and uncomprehending, in her living room with hospice care.

I learned from watching those deaths that death affects more than the dying. And that those who shoulder the sacrifices and burdens of caring for the dying face a test of dignity themselves. In the three cases I mentioned above the caregivers demonstrated an enormous and superhuman degree of dignity and were each ultimately blessed by their task. They were a lesson for me as I potentially face the test of dignity myself in the future as a caregiver. They showed me the way.